Exercises in frustration

I not only like to do things, I want to do them NOW. But lately I feel I am being thwarted at every turn.

I want to go trail riding and to horse shows, but I don’t have a trailer. There are six or seven trailers parked at my barn — but no one ever goes anywhere, so hitching a ride is not working. I borrowed a horse trailer once and dented the fender. The trailer owner wants the entire fender replaced. So no more borrowing trailers for me. I want to buy a trailer, but they are not cheap, so I save up some money. When I am getting close, I talk to the barn owner to see if I can park it there, but she is full. There is no where to park it at home.

I want to be a really good rider. I ride my butt off. While riding off my butt I injure my knee. Overuse. The only remedy for overuse is to stop using it. That means to stop riding for a long time. I can’t do that, so I keep re-injuring it, which makes my right leg very weak. A weak leg does not make me a good rider. In fact, I am afraid of using my right leg, so use it very ineffectively. Not a good rider.

My Dressage leaves a much to be desired. So I sign up for a ride with a local BNR in dressage. My ride time gets moved back to late in the afternoon, during bring-in. Kip has a meltdown, and I scratch.

That’s it. No pep talk for myself, no solutions to work for. I just want to vent.

grr.

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